I am a walking Dad Joke

Dad Jokes

“A wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny.”

Self discovery: I am a peripatetic Dad Joke.

I just learned the term Dad Joke.

In now appears clear to me that my sons were raised in a Dad Joke hothouse, where Dad Jokes proliferated like wild mushrooms on a luxuriant forest floor.

In fact, my Dad Jokes have always been aborted Dad Jokes.

Desiccated fragments of hard core corn.

I rarely remember punchlines.

I come by my Dad Joke proclivity honestly.

Dad Jokes are in my DNA.

My Dad told Dad Jokes constantly. When I was a child, he inflicted them on all my friends.

“Why does the chicken cross the road?” “To get to the other side.”

“Who won the race?” “What race?” “The human race.”

“ How do you say death?” “How?” “Carbolic acid. That’s death in any language.”

He also repeated expressions that were meant to be funny.

“Had the biscuit.”

“More [fill in the blank] than you can shake a stick at.”

“No tickee; No washee.” [A little dose of racism from back in the day.]

“You can’t make a racehorse out of a mule.” (Usually when describing my mother.)

“Strictly for the birds.”

The Dad Jokes that I inflicted on my sons’ friends “were strictly for the birds.”

They were so corny and repetitious that they didn’t even qualify as jokes.

I couldn’t really tell any Dad Jokes because I was an Anglo Dad living in French Canada.

Telling Dad Jokes in French was definitely beyond my capacities.

So I would simply repeat to each kid who came to our home, “Veux-tu un whiskey? Veux-tu un vodka?”

Would you like something to drink? A whiskey? A vodka?

Ha! Ha!

My sons consigned me to the bedroom when friends came a-knocking.

“Don’t speak. Act normal at all times,” they implored.

The friends who came to our home found my accent in French funny.

When I addressed them, they often exclaimed, “Euh?”

And my sons found my clothing a bad Dad Joke.

Especially my snow pants that swished and my conical Michelin Tire Man winter hood.

I’m embarrassed about telling you that I’m embarrassed about being an embarrassing father.

Who even failed at telling embarrassing Dad Jokes.

https://robertmcbrydeauthor.com/

https://www.instagram.com/robertmcbrydeauthor/

Robert McBryde Author: hippies, pop music, 1960s, psychedelic, blogging, social media, CBC radio, literary non-fiction, vignettes and sketches, immigrant experience, living in Quebec, living in France, childhood and animal stories, creative memoirs, satire, autobiography, family relations, raising children, dad jokes, aging, facing death, travel, social commentary, love and marriage, translation: English-French; French-English

Publisher’s Note: Funny, manic, and wistful… self-deprecating creative nonfiction…The author, Robert McBryde, a professional translator, has been compared to David Sedaris for the sometimes-snarky autobiographical satire characterizing his literary sketches. Many of the stories in his new book, titled My Time with You Has Been Short but Very Funny, have been featured on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation radio network.

Author’s Note:

I’ve written a new book of creative non-fiction titled My Time with You Has Been Short but Very Funny, recently published and now on the market. The book is based on stories that I told over the years as a writer/ broadcaster and host on CBC radio based in Quebec City, Canada.

The book is available via my website. The purchase links are at the bottom of the home page.

https://robertmcbrydeauthor.com/

Normally I will post at least two blogs per week, often Wednesdays and Fridays mornings EST and at other moments as well. Stay tuned!

If you purchase a book via the platform of your choice, please leave a review!

Here is a link to a cool group book review blog:

My Time With You Has Been Short But Very Funny, a review by Di

thebookreviewcrew.com