I’m a grandpa for rent

I have no grandchildren of my own, except “fur grandchildren,” so I’ve written this little scrap of doggerel to offer my services to all those parents (and grandparents) who would love a break from the relentless pressures of parenting or grandparenting.

I’m a grandpa for rent

I’m a grandpa for rent,

Long in the tooth but still pretty spry;

I’m a geezer for rent,

A sensitive old-aged guy.

When you’re exhausted and torn,

Whacked out by your kids,

I’m here; I’m available;

I’ll accept any bids.

I sing; I tell stories;

I like rich pumpkin pie;

I spoil youngsters for pleasure,

And I don’t have to try.

I like creatures and bowling,

Toys, Lego, and board games;

I throw baseballs, play Barbie,

And make all sorts of wild claims.

Little ones like me,

Because I’m so childish;

They find me quite funny,

And most of all mild-ish.

My own kids had to put up with

My anxiety and moods,

Bad clothing and cooking…

I made them eat all sorts of foods!

But your kids will benefit

From all those mistakes,

You’ll chill out and perk up,

By taking long breaks

From the rigors of parenting,

The whining, the hassles,

The tensions, the dilemmas,

The building of sand castles.

Though your small fry aren’t mine,

I’ll love them to death;

They’ll feel no parental pressure

And you’ll take a deep breath

Before taking them back;

I know that you’ll miss them;

You’ll welcome them home;

You’ll hug them and kiss them.

And I’ll just return

To my own private life:

My wonderful adult sons

And my beautiful wife.

I’m a grandpa for rent,

Long in the tooth but still pretty spry;

I’m a geezer for rent,

A sensitive old-aged guy.

https://www.instagram.com/robertmcbrydeauthor/

“[This] memoir is… an enjoyable and touching read.

Radio listeners in Quebec are already familiar with the wit and wisdom of Robert McBryde. The non-fiction collection, MY TIME WITH YOU HAS BEEN SHORT BUT VERY FUNNY, gives the rest of the world access to the author’s inimitable style.”

https://indiereader.com/book_review/my-time-with-you-has-been-short-but-very-funny/

~Rob Errera for IndieReader

Publisher’s Note: Funny, manic, and wistful… self-deprecating creative nonfiction…The author, Robert McBryde, a professional translator, has been compared to David Sedaris for the sometimes-snarky autobiographical satire characterizing his literary sketches. Many of the stories in his new book, titled My Time with You Has Been Short but Very Funny, have been featured on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation radio network.

Author’s Note:

I’ve written a new book of creative non-fiction titled My Time with You Has Been Short but Very Funny, recently published and now on the market. The book is based on stories that I told over the years as a writer/ broadcaster and host on CBC radio based in Quebec City, Canada.

The book is available via my website. The purchase links are at the bottom of the home page.

https://robertmcbrydeauthor.com/

Normally I will post at least two blogs per week, often Wednesdays and Fridays mornings EST and at other moments as well. Stay tuned!

If you purchase a book via the platform of your choice, please leave a review!

Here is a link to a cool group book review blog:

My Time With You Has Been Short But Very Funny, a review by Di

thebookreviewcrew.com

And this is a link to Goodreads. A great place to learn about new books and to read reviews.

Di’s review of My Time with You Has Been Short but Very Funny

goodreads.com

And, finally, a couple of reviews from Amazon…

amazon.ca