Rascal scooter to the rescue: an alternative to Ottawa public transit (part one)

Rascal scooter to the rescue: an alternative to Ottawa public transit (part one)

When I was a child my mom always called me “little rascal,” normally in Ukrainian, the language that her Polish family adopted when they came to Canada just before World War One.

“Malenʹkyy dyyavol” she would yelp when I misbehaved…literally “little devil.”

I have always loved the word ‘rascal’ and have tried to live up to this advanced billing for the past 72 years.

When I learned the term “rascal scooter,” used for those mobility scooters that disabled and elderly people zip about on, a warm and fuzzy sensation of pleasure enveloped me.

And now, living in a city that has the worst public transit system since the dark days of the Visigoths, I am looking for alternatives, especially since the city’s public transit commission has seen fit to increase monthly transit passes for seniors by at least 60% for service that no self-respecting rascal can accept.

So one alternative is to acquire a rascal scooter and gun down Ottawa’s sidewalks, hooting and waving a Stetson like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove, while forcing dismayed residents to flee the sidewalk, scattering them like a mobile Moses parting the Red Sea.