She’s dreaming of a Weetabix Christmas
My wife Anne cannot live without Weetabix. This is a serious addiction. On Christmas morning, she will devour a delicious bowl of Weetabix as always.
She has wolfed down Weetabix in many countries and on several continents and can provide a detailed, granular analysis of Weetabix variants world wide.
Our globetrotter son will send her Weetabix from afar, including from Thailand, where it is called Weet-Bix.
When Anne came to Canada, an ethnic German girl fleeing from the Soviet invasion of her country, Czechoslovakia, at 10 years of age, she left behind family members, friends, and culinary habits and begin ingesting all sorts of North American glop at all hours of the day or night.
Including Weetabix.
I have written extensively about this weighty, or shall we say ‘weety ‘subject:
Weetabix: The Song – Robert McBryde
My friend the singer/songwriter/musician Andy McClelland and I even collaborated on a Weetabix song.
Weetabix…the song
(Robert McBryde; Andy McClelland)
Each and very morning, my wife needs a quick fix;
She’s compelled to devour her Weetabix.
Slovakian food was more eclectic,
At ten years old in Canada she quit the authentic.
She ingested North American comestibles;
Her parents found her eating proclivities detestable.
Wolfin’ cold pizza to start the day
Made them get down on their knees and pray.
Her mom would provide sumptuous school lunches
With tasty old country delights in bunches.
Staples of the Slovak and German cuisine
But Anne preferred… poutine.
She’d trade rye bread, German ham and cheese,
For plastic wrapped Velveeta and then she’d eat
Salt and vinegar chips with lemonade and a chocolate éclair,
No German provisions anywhere.
Chef Boyardee ravioli with Dream Whip,
Pop-up pancakes and Cheez Whiz… a cookin’ kit
Now her Weetabix habit might seem pretty tame
But the motivation is much the same:
To leave the culinary past in the past
And be Canadian, fit in fast.
Eat all sorts of bad-for-you food
A new world attitude.
Don’t know how she does it; she still looks twenty six
Must be the daily dose of Weetabix.
Or the sugar laden white bread and peanut butter
She’s a gastronomical wonder.
If I ate like that I’d feel like crap
Unable to even take a nap
If I eat a bag of chips, hard it’ll hit
Cuz in twenty minutes I’m gonna feel like …
Mac and cheese for dinner,
She’s a dietary sinner.
Wieners and beans with a side of toast
And a course of Weetabix; she likes it the most.
Your friend,
Robert
Robert McBryde – robertmcbrydeauthor.com
